THE ENGINEER'S TALE
A MODERN ADAPTATION OF THE SEAMAN'S TALE FROM CHAUCER'S CANTERBURY TALES
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THE ENGINEER'S TALE
There was a taxi driver named
"I would," his friend Ramon at last broke in,
As she had expected, "were I him.
How much does that bag cost?" "Not much," she said.
"A thousand. It's a steal." He clutched his head.
"A thousand! I don't have that much! I would,
Believe me, give it gladly if I could.
For I have loved you from the moment I
First saw you in the glint in Miguel's eye
When he told me about you. And since then
I've wanted you without a word. But when
You just revealed your feelings, I felt free
At last to tell you what you mean to me."
"Oh, Ramon, my darling, never fear!"
She said. "I have a plan, as you shall hear.
We shall get my stingy husband to
Cough up the money for my bag, while you
Get everything you want -- and more -- today!
If you do precisely as I say."
That afternoon Ramon called up his friend
And asked him for a short-term loan, to tend
To an investment for which cash was due.
"How much?" Miguel asked. "A grand. Too much for you?"
"When can I have it back?" "Just till tomorrow."
And so Miguel allowed his friend to borrow
A thousand dollars from his cash reserve,
As true friends ever one another serve.
Straight from Miguel, Ramon went to deliver
The cash to Mary Lou, who gave the giver
All he could desire, and more than he
Had dreamed of in his wildest fantasy.
Then off she went back to the Prada store
To buy the bag that she was lusting for.
The next day Miguel inquired of his friend
About the loan. When did he intend
To pay it back? "I gave it to your wife,"
He said. "This morning. I swear upon my life!"
"I believe you," Miguel replied. "But she
Said nothing of this interchange to me."
Ramon shrugged, so Miguel said nothing more,
But waited till they went to bed before
He asked his lovely wife whether she
Had gotten from Ramon the money he
Had lent him just the day before. "Oh, yes!"
She said. "And guess what I got -- you'll never guess!"
She hopped right out of bed, turned on the light,
As if assuming mutual delight,
And took out the Prada bag, a treasure
So beautiful it must give equal pleasure
To both of them. "It was a steal!" she said.
"I knew you wouldn't mind!" Then back to bed
She leapt. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" she
Cried out, smothering him with kisses, while he
Just lay there, hapless, helpless, hopeless, numb
To love and lust alike, thinking how dumb
He was, and how many miles he'd have to drive
To pay for this, and how he must deprive
Himself of little things he might enjoy,
While she, laboring to his member buoy,
Plied his body with exquisite art,
Engaging every morsel but the heart.
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