I Don't Know Why My Mind Goes Numb with Numbers

Music: Prelude in G Major
By Dimitri Shostakovich. Sequenced by J. Marques.

Alpha List Philosophical Poems Contents Home Copyright by Nicholas Gordon

I don't know why my mind goes numb with numbers. A couple of months ago, in the Kittay House elevator, I met a man in his nineties who smiled at me. "How many cubic feet in a three-foot cube?" He asked. I panicked. I should have known right away. "Nine," I said, knowing that had to be wrong. "Look it up!" he chortled. "Look it up!" The elevator stopped. I got off. It hit me. "Twenty-seven!" I said. To myself. Too late. About six weeks later, again. Same man. Same question. "How many cubic feet in a three-foot cube?" Same superior smile. I know you don't know. Again I panicked. I didn't remember the previous Time. Nor did he. Is Alzheimer's catching? "Nine," I said again, knowing again It was wrong. And then, again, after The elevator doors had closed: "Twenty-seven!" I imagined the old man chortling in his victory Over ignorance. My ignorance. What is it about numbers that makes my mind Go numb? Maybe I don't like questions with answers That make me look stupid. Smug answers, Chortling in their victories. Right answers, Exposing me naked to the heehawing rain. Answers to questions I haven't asked. Easier not to know even where to begin.