I Used to Be Completely Cruel and Heartless

Music: Highway. Almir Renato de Souza Almeida

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Alpha List Love Poems Contents Home Copyright by Nicholas Gordon

I used to be completely cruel and heartless, Using girls, then tossing them aside. I used to feel an angry, bitter hunger, Not knowing why, nor looking much inside. I used to think the goal of life was pleasure: My own, of course, whatever that might take. A woman's feelings had to be her problem. Self-sacrifice was always a mistake. And so, with just the slightest twinge of conscience, I hunted for my lonely ecstasy; And even when I wanted a companion, The only one I cared about was me. We make our worlds, like God, in our own image: Mine was a metropolis of stone In which all souls were either fools or cynics, Doomed to take their pleasure on their own. And then I fell in love with you, and somehow Your happiness meant more to me than mine. The desert became green and lush with flowers, And like a sun my heart began to shine. And like a wind I swept across the ocean, And like a star exploded into night, And like a song I held love in my hands, And like an angel knew that this was right. All that I had thought was proven wrong, All the lies to justify my greed. To love was to embrace the pith of life, To feel a joy far stronger than a need. And if I could so love, I could be loved, Could think someone might want me and believe it, Could let another know me without shame, Could give my self and know I could retrieve it. All this I tell you that I might be known, That all of me no longer be alone; And if you do not love the one I am, So be it. I will weep, but understand.