Raping me was fun for him. After, he asked me how I liked it. Perhaps he already lived in a cell, Ex-communicated, soul-deaf. I told him and he laughed, stroked me. So? He was boss. On top. A woman wanted that, no? Crying, crying, I said nothing. Rape was a wound across my sky. I saw blackness beyond the blue. My life was twisted, like those girders Earthquakes throw brutally to the ground. After such helplessness, what hope? Going on with my life in blackness, A black sky, black rage in my heart, In my mind an endless blackness, Nothing within me but blackness Screamed at the boy no longer there, The screams like walls I took with me, The walls of screams protecting me, How could I love without seeing? Even so, the light pierced me, Shattering the cell of fury, Opening my heart again Under a new sun, once more Laughing in the chill of fear.
Copyright by Nicholas Gordon
Audio and Video Music: Elegy. By Wayne Jones. Music free to use at YouTube.